Category Archives: Uncategorized

Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory for Book Nerds

On Saturday, me and Count Chocula (my sugar-loving graphic designer boyfriend) headed to the Alcuin Wayzgoose print fair. In case you think I’ve started drinking in the mornings (as the only explanation for going to an event with goose in the title that didn’t involve barbeque sauce), allow me to …

eBooks-My Very Own Consumer Research Panel (Mom)

I’ve been tardy with you my dear blogosphere. The last month and a half ushered in my first foray back to school in a few years for a Master’s in Publishing degree. The past month has been something of a work-your-butt-off-cry-home-to-your-mama fest, also precipitating my induction to modern technology with …

Bookstore Etiquette: 5 simple steps to avoid looking like an ass among the stacks

I’m a geek, alright? One of those lisping, former braces-wearing, snorts when laughing, loves dried prunes kind of nerdly behemoths—if it was socially acceptable I’m sure my pants would be well above my belly button. We’re talking Urkel style: he is my messiah. I visit the library on average about …

Floating

The moment expectation slams into reality knocks us off our feet. We spin and drift for hours on the tears that rip a body apart from within. We know that he is gone, but it doesn’t seem real when you can’t know where. Confusion. We drift like leaves. Bed, floor, …

They Might Get Stuck

Dad sits in his chair, lips now a permanent tinge of blue, eyes a permanent cast of yellow. Different colours bud from skin, beneath fingernails, in the spots around his ears and eyes like a field taken over by strange blooming wildflowers. His glossy black curls are gone. I lie …

Run Run Run as Fast as You Can

A month after a surgeon cuts the lump from Dad’s thigh and conducts a biopsy, doctors sit Mum and Dad down on a sofa in the clinic, and show them x-rays of his chest cavity. The blood tests gave them cause to search the rest of his body. The tumours …

An Afternoon at the Abbatoir with Dad

Jaret and I take turns fishing, squealing and jumping around when the line spools out hurriedly. Dad runs to grab the rod before it is sucked into the sea. We club the fish with the wooden bat when they are pulled into the boat, twisting and wiggling on the line, …

Dad’s Injections: Perfect-a-mundo

They try to catch me but I am a greased monkey, leaping off furniture and swinging from the chandelier, hucking bananas to keep my fingers and arms and legs and tummy from being stabbed with needles. They are glorified zookeepers, subduing me to get blood and urine tests. They plunge …

Happy Effing Father’s Day

Father’s Day. Every year when this day rolls around, a strange mix of emotions overtakes me and tweaks my bloodsugars. Anger at the Hallmark holiday quality of crazy crap in stores, and the fact I can’t partake (but I want to buy my dad a singing Father’s Day squirrel too!). …

Sugar-Induced Blogging—a Study in Mania

I woke today to discover an alarming incident had slipped into my otherwise painfully vanilla life. Some fiendish doppelganger not only accessed my computer but set up a blog, a website. Oh. My. God. Against my will, I was forced to become one of those freaks. Images of me accrued …